02-13-2010, 04:02 AM
In arranged marriage,you marry someone whom your parents bring and meet for a single time,for 30 minutes..You see him/her for the next time during engagement and the thrid time ,on wedding day..Great drama..The cycle moves round and round for generations..
I won’t prefer love marriage in today’s society where i will be seen as a outstanding..err..outspoken..or however you name it ..The label of ‘Oh,her’s was love marriage’ and it implies directly that i ahve gone against my parents ..If ’society’ finds no beef between couple and parents,then they say “Oh,her/his parents adjusted and compromised to her choice..poor them,didn’t get a chance to do their responsibility of choosing right mate for their daughter”..Hell,marriage is a parent’s business today..Don’t tell me it is happening in rural places and that it happens in culturally or religiously doomed places..NO,it happens till date in urban educated families.. So either you go with it or have a secluded life..Its your choice..
Parents say they want their kids to be happy in marrige..and for a girl everythign after marriage is to be adjusted or compromised..Nothing more nothign less bcoz divorce is more shameful than love marriage..
Arranged marriages lasted longer bcoz girls were seasoned to remian submissive and programmed to be mute..But i dn’t think arranged marriages (unless couples agree willingly) will last longer anymore before if men or in-laws show their egoistic nature,today’s girls are sure to kick them out of her life..Yesterday’s women had no choice but to remain silent suffering,unlike today’s girls who are financially or intellectually dependent..When a point of saturation reaches,girls would and should kick out these people ..
The other side of this independence is that women are less ‘adjusting’ and hence therez issues every now and then.
In love marriages,there is lot of expectation involved and again this leads to issues..
So,what is my comment all about??Sorry,i have no idea what was it that i meant to say..Both are doomed unless we have a society tomorrow which sees kids as individuals and not somebody to is expected to run the cycle round and round..
Nimmy, I guess in many families having a love marriage is not approved of. However this is changing in urban India. I have cousins whose parents were quite relieved that they found their own husbands and it was the same with my parents. They were happy with my choice of partner. But it differs in different families…and in some families it will be disapproved of. And yes you are right. Grown children should not be seen as kids but as individuals…but in India we see grown kids financially dependent on their parents too
I won’t prefer love marriage in today’s society where i will be seen as a outstanding..err..outspoken..or however you name it ..The label of ‘Oh,her’s was love marriage’ and it implies directly that i ahve gone against my parents ..If ’society’ finds no beef between couple and parents,then they say “Oh,her/his parents adjusted and compromised to her choice..poor them,didn’t get a chance to do their responsibility of choosing right mate for their daughter”..Hell,marriage is a parent’s business today..Don’t tell me it is happening in rural places and that it happens in culturally or religiously doomed places..NO,it happens till date in urban educated families.. So either you go with it or have a secluded life..Its your choice..
Parents say they want their kids to be happy in marrige..and for a girl everythign after marriage is to be adjusted or compromised..Nothing more nothign less bcoz divorce is more shameful than love marriage..
Arranged marriages lasted longer bcoz girls were seasoned to remian submissive and programmed to be mute..But i dn’t think arranged marriages (unless couples agree willingly) will last longer anymore before if men or in-laws show their egoistic nature,today’s girls are sure to kick them out of her life..Yesterday’s women had no choice but to remain silent suffering,unlike today’s girls who are financially or intellectually dependent..When a point of saturation reaches,girls would and should kick out these people ..
The other side of this independence is that women are less ‘adjusting’ and hence therez issues every now and then.
In love marriages,there is lot of expectation involved and again this leads to issues..
So,what is my comment all about??Sorry,i have no idea what was it that i meant to say..Both are doomed unless we have a society tomorrow which sees kids as individuals and not somebody to is expected to run the cycle round and round..
Nimmy, I guess in many families having a love marriage is not approved of. However this is changing in urban India. I have cousins whose parents were quite relieved that they found their own husbands and it was the same with my parents. They were happy with my choice of partner. But it differs in different families…and in some families it will be disapproved of. And yes you are right. Grown children should not be seen as kids but as individuals…but in India we see grown kids financially dependent on their parents too